Sunday 10 May 2015

The Goodbyes - College Diary #1

       I came home today with tears in my eyes. I just couldn't stop crying. My mom was shocked, given that I had been to branch fest happily and while she expected me to come back and tell her about how good it was, I had come back crying. Her mind was already working out 1000 different things that could have gone wrong. Did the magazine release go bad? (I will write about it in another post) Did you mess up while hosting? Did anyone say something to you? Her questions were endless but I couldn't speak other than shaking my head. I could see her panicking. I didn't want to worry her on Mother's Day like this. Finally, I managed to say what was bothering me. "It's all over... college... I am feeling bad" I said between sobs and broke down again. And what did she do? Burst out laughing!!

        Well, I can't blame her. Till now I was waiting for this day. Whenever I saw someone getting emotional about the end approaching soon, I would pull out a poker face not wanting to show them how happy I was with the fact. Of course I was happy! No more classes, no more going to college, no more assignments and no more reading for internals. Sounded too good for me. But today these same words which used to make me happy all these days, are making me emotional. No more classes - I would miss sitting in the last bench, passing comments, doodling and bunking class to go to canteen. No more going to college - I would miss roaming in campus, clicking random pics, enjoying with friends, fighting over petty issues and then forgetting them sooner than it happened. No more assignments - I would miss fighting over who will write it, copying it from friends and coming up with creative excuses when we failed to complete it. No more reading for internals - no more worrying over average, no more dividing the portions between friends and no more mugging up minutes before internals. 

       I still can't believe its been four years already! It still feels like yesterday that I joined engineering, not because I wanted to but because I was forced to. I was hoping these 4 years would end soon and it did! Then why am I feeling so bad now when this is what I wanted all along?


       Every word holds a different meaning today. When I look back, I can only see moments that make me smile because they were so good and cry because they are coming to an end. Oh, how I wish I can stop time right at this moment and thus stop the goodbyes that will follow in few days. But wish as I might, I know life has to go on. So while there is still few days left, I want to make the most of it and collect as many memories I can to cherish them for the rest of my life. 

         Starting from today, for the rest of the month, I am going to share stories of my college life. It is my way of coping up with the overflowing emotions and cherishing the memories forever. This 'College Diary' series is dedicated to all my friends and lecturers (Yes!) who made these 4 years a memorable one :)

Until the next post,
Keep Smiling :)

Love,
Swathi :)

15 comments:

  1. It's interesting how the emotions that hit us aren't necessarily the ones we expect! Congratulations on finishing college, and all the very best with what's to come. :)

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  2. Cool! Will check out your blog posts!
    I'm gonna start degree college in a year.. Not science.. Commerce..might as well read about degree college life.. Coz in the end the experience is the same as any other!
    Mithila @fabulus1710

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  3. Congrats on your achievement, and hopefully the best is yet to come. Best wishes!

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  4. Ohhh hw sweet swatz,, yep truly it was a fully emotional day today �

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  5. I know once you are out of college and start your professional life, you'll start missing college even more. College life is the best, And hey! where are the pics, And I so want to see the magazine :)

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  6. Congrats on completing your degree. I know I missed college terribly and even uni after I finished post grad. It's a bit of a rut when y ou start working! :P

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  7. Yes the last day of college can be such a bittersweet experience: you love and hate it at the same time for the reasons you mentioned. I hope that your work experience will be enjoyable and sorry to hear you were "forced" into a career field. I think that is NEVER a good idea. (Ahem: I hope you consider writing instead..a book like your A to Z story perhaps?! ;) You thoroughly hooked me with each and every post I read and I only came in part way...still have to catch up! ;) <3

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  8. You should write everything down. You have no idea how hard the important moments are to remember 50 years on. hehe. I'm writing my memoir. Luckily my mother kept letters I wrote to her, which give me an insight into how I thought in my late teens.

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  9. Congrats on finishing your Engineering! Isn't that an awesome thing? As you said, you will keep on sharing tales from your college life like I still do - from my B.Tech days 10 year on and MBA days 5 years on :) College life is fun! But so is the life ahead! All the best!

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  10. Congrats on your completion of Engineering. Yes would love to hear the anecdotes of the college life

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  11. It takes a while for the feeling to sink in. Would love to read your experiences and relive my college memories :)

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  12. Awww!! I know how bad it hurts!! But be happy that it all happened and you have so many memories to look back at! Not everyone is so lucky you know! Waiting to read more of College Diary! :)

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  13. Such an emotion-soaked post. The dilemmas of life. We hate getting into college. And then we hate leaving it too. :) Take care and look forward to reading more.

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  14. i can relate to this post :) you have so many memories if you look back :) keep smiling :)

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